Phil’s story
Is there life after divorce?
Behind those divorce statistics there is a deep hurt and suffering across our country. I should know, because a few years ago my marriage broke up.
Although I was the innocent party, I blamed myself. Depressed, I took an overdose but survived. I drank socially and had several relationships but these didn’t overcome my intense loneliness and unhappiness.
I contemplated suicide.
Again, I contemplated suicide with tablets. My sister took me to the Samaritans, who talked to me but failed to convince me that I had a future. I couldn’t carry on. I had to find someone to help me. At the end of weeks of marriage guidance counselling I was told nothing more could be done – I would have to get used to the feeling of being unhappy. In time, it would be easier to bear.
But the New Year came and went and I was still hurting. During long periods of loneliness that winter I had nothing to live for and no future to look forward to.
What a change! No feelings of guilt!
Then I met Pat, a Christian who worked in the same office. We went for coffee at lunch times but she wouldn’t go out with me because I was married and not a Christian. At this time I remember praying to God – to this day I don’t know why. I was still blaming myself and waking up depressed. I asked God to forgive me for the wrong things I’d done in causing the break up of the marriage. But the next morning – what a change! No guilt! I felt happy as though there was something to look forward to. Strangely, over the next few days many things began to happen. People I hadn’t heard from for ages were phoning; work opportunities improved.
I asked Pat if I could go to church with her.
Somehow I found the courage to go through the doors of West Park Church. Looking back I see that God was at work in my life long before I set foot in there. God is not confined to buildings!
I found out that people were praying that I would meet a Christian. God answered their prayers in style – a church full of Christians! I came back for more.
God gave me two gifts: repentance and faith.
After a few weeks God gave me two gifts – repentance and faith. I was able to turn away from my sins and believe in Jesus Christ. I became a Christian.
Pain, loneliness and hopelessness became things of the past. I was now a believer and, with my previous marriage irreparable, Pat and I became good friends. She agreed to marry me in November 1987.
Many years have passed since these wonderful things happened, years in which both Pat and I have had cause to praise God for His keeping power as our marriage has gone from strength to strength and we have been given a life full of love, usefulness and purpose together.
Marjorie’s story
The Lost Sheep
“I am a Christian.”
What a wonderful declaration to be able to make, but why did it take me so long to reach this moment?
I grew up attending Sunday School, a Church of England day school, and was confirmed by the Bishop of Lichfield when I was 15 years of age. In my middle years a friend decided to be confirmed and I attended classes with her to refresh my own confirmation as I was then beginning to question the depth of my faith – sadly, at that time I made no further efforts to resolve my doubts.
I was invited by a close friend (Audrey) to join the Friendship Circle which was then just beginning at West Park Church, and I immediately felt the love and commitment of all who worked to make it an enjoyable and enlightening time with the activities provided. Of particular interest was the time of fellowship in the Library and also the short service at the end of the afternoon when the messages given. Although these were brief due to the limited amount of time available, they were always fulfilling. My interest became such that I began to attend the morning services at West Park on, I must admit, a fairly irregular basis. However, all this changed when Audrey and I went to Compton Hospice to take some items to the shop and decided to have a quick cup of coffee before leaving. During general conversation we found we were discussing spiritual matters at some length. Our ‘quick cup of coffee’ became a 2 hours + deep conversation about the Bible and spiritual matters in general. My need to know more was awakened and I began to attend church on a regular basis anxious and eager to learn more about the Lord and His work. The words which had been merely stories came to life and to have a much deeper meaning, and my initial interest became a need and a thirst. My friend helped feed my need by providing literature, tapes and help with Bible study which further increased my longing to learn more. Verses from the Bible, choruses and hymns kept popping into my head!
The main stories that kept coming to me were the parables of the Prodigal Son and the Lost Sheep. They were in studies in the fellowship at the Friendship Circle, in sermons in church and also in my Bible studies. On Sunday, July 12th I listened to the Parable of the Lost Sheep and felt moved to tears. On the following Tuesday I returned very tired and weary from a day out and as I sat relaxing my thoughts went to the Shepherd seeking the lost sheep and I felt that in spite of the weariness that He was experiencing he didn’t stop His search. The realisation that the Lord was searching for me as I was seeking Him was like a light dawning – the sacrifice of His life for me, and His persistence in seeking me, came together and I repented of my sins and asked the Lord for His forgiveness in prayer. My heart lightened and I felt at peace, having put my trust in the Lord.
My sadness is that it has taken me so long to come to the Lord but now, as a young and immature Christian, I look forward with great eagerness to my “walk with the Lord in the light of His Word …”
Ian’s story
The Most Momentous Day
I will always remember December 31st 1986 as the most momentous day of my life. It was on that day that I experienced the greatest feeling of loss and helplessness I have known. On that day my father died.
We had just completed a game of badminton together, and changed, when he collapsed. I desperately tried to revive him both in the sports centre and in the ambulance but I was forced to leave him to the doctors at hospital. During the interim period, after my Mother had arrived and we were awaiting news, I prayed silently until the time when we were told that he had died. The first things that came into my mind were verses from the Bible: “There is a time to be born and a time to die, a time for laughter and a time for mourning” (Ecclesiastes 3: 2 and 4).
During the next few days I kept asking myself the question, why had my Dad died? Knowing that my parents were Christians, and were so happily married, I supposed that God must have had a good reason to take his life. I was deeply impressed, too, by the reaction of my Mother. Although she was understandably quite distraught, she knew that my Dad, through his belief, faith and love for Jesus Christ was now in Heaven and, through her own faith, she was now having an effect on me.
For some time before Dad died, I had been going to church regularly on Sunday evenings, and I had enjoyed the sermons. I remember telling Gareth on his last visit to our house (before Dad died) that I wanted to be a Christian – but on my own terms and conditions, and when I wanted to. In fact, I had even said that in three or four years’ time I would seriously consider it. I realise now how foolish I was.
However, as the weeks progressed I suddenly became aware that I needed God’s presence in my life. My father was extremely fit, but had died suddenly and without warning. I knew he was in Heaven, but what if that had been me? I knew where I would have been going if I didn’t do something about getting right with God. Also, having listened to many of Mum’s Christian friends discussing their experiences and assuring us of their prayers there was a tremendous feeling of peace surrounding us. It was something that I wanted for myself, and it convinced me that I was doing the right thing – I repented of my sin and asked Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Saviour.
Although I miss my father greatly, and would love to have shared Christian fellowship with him, I can now see better that his death was not without purpose and I constantly praise and thank the Lord that he used my parents, among others, to reveal himself to me.